Turning the Hearts of Parents and Teenagers Toward Each Other
Thirty Days
Thirty Days
The Problem

Parents never mean to bring harm to their children. But in the real world, parents give much attention to such issues as career, money, divorce, midlife dating, and social life. Without ever meaning to, parents may have emotionally neglected a large percentage of junior high, high school, and college students. Students who have been emotionally neglected try to protect their wounds by pushing parents away. Wounded teenagers who push parents away also push away the faith, values, and ethics of their parents.

On the other hand, many parents and teenagers believe they have a great relationship and do not want to lose what they have. In fact, they want to take their relationship to the next level.

On average, teenagers who become emotionally disconnected from their parents will make grave mistakes when choosing a spouse and beginning a marriage. On average, teenagers who become emotionally disconnected from their parents eventually will become emotionally disconnected from their own children.

The Hope

The hearts of parents and teenagers can be turned toward each other in 30 powerful evenings. Families can find the closeness that frees students to become healthy young adults who build lifetime marriages and rear wonderful grandchildren.

The Solution

To strengthen the connection between their hearts, one parent and one student commit to spending 10 minutes together for 30 evenings. Each evening they go to a room with a closed door. By candlelight they draw out the cards for that evening. Following the instructions on the cards, they say and do those things that have the greatest power to deepen relationships. This experience is designed for students junior high through college.

Sample Day 15 sample cards

To give you an idea of what each night of the 30 Days experience is like, we have provided the information for the cards on day 15. Click the image to the left to get started.

Josh McDowell

Josh McDowell is a Christian apologist, evangelist, and writer. We can't pass on our faith or protect our kids from the culture unless we make that relational connection, that loving bond, that intimate attachment our children so desperately need and want.

Dr. Gary Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman is a Christian relationship counselor and author. For most parents, it is not a matter of sincerity but rather lack of information on how to communicate love effectively on an emotional level.

Dr. Ross Campbell

Dr. Ross Campbell is a clinical psychiatrist concentrating on the parent-child relationship. Children cannot follow their parents in the journey of faith, belief, and moral integrity unless they personally identify with the parents. Nor can they identify with the parents unless the parents meet their emotional needs.

Dr. Bruce Wilkinson

Dr. Bruce Wilkinson is a Christian teacher and author Injured relationships are the major, hidden force that drive our children away from (godly) living, and sometimes from the faith altogether.

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson is a Christian author, psychologist, and founder of Focus on the Family. Crowded lives produce fatigue, fatigue produces irritability, and irritability produces indifference. Indifference can be interpreted by the child as a lack of genuine affection and personal esteem.
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For Parent Eyes Only

Read the following to your student:

Even though I have lots of responsibilities, you've noticed I spend some time just with you. That isn't out of a sense of duty. It is motivated by love. Let me explain why I want to spend time just with you ...

For Student Eyes Only

Read one of the following to your parent:

We Get Enough Time Together We Don't Get Enough Time Together
I'm thankful you love me enough to spend time with me. To be honest, I'm happy with the amount of time we spend together. I can tell I'm important to you because of the time you give to being with me. Your spending quality time with me causes me to feel ... I'm thankful you love me enough to spend time with me. The fact you're important to me makes me sad when we don't get enough time together. I know you don't intend this, but when responsibilities get all your attention rather than me, I feel unimportant. Let me explain how I feel ...

For Parent Eyes Only

Read one of the following to your student:

Student Said We Get Enough Time Together Student Said We Don't Get Enough Time
I'm pleased you feel we get about the right amount of time together. Because of my many duties, I have to work hard to protect the time I spend with you. I'm glad you can tell how important you are to me. What I want for the future is ... It makes me sad you feel we don't spend enough time together. I never would intentionally want you to feel unimportant to me. Just hearing how important this is to you makes me want to change some things. We do need more time for just the two of us. What I want for the future is ...

For Parent Eyes Only

Read the following to your student:

Children need to see parents choosing to spend time with them. In the same way, parents need to see students choosing to spend time with them. I know it's normal for students to begin spending more time away from home and parents. But there's a time when having you near would show I still am important to you. That time is ...

For Student Eyes Only

Read the following to your parent:

I'm excited about your taking some time from your duties to spend more time just with me. And I'm excited about taking some time from my friends and from running around to spend time with you. The Bible says, "Come near to God and He will come near to you" (James 4:8). I want the same thing for the two of us.

Pray with me as I ask God to keep you and me close for a lifetime.

(Student prays.)